Back at the start of January I decided to choose a word for the year. A word I wanted to learn more about all year long and incorporate more fully in my life. And wowwee, what a year it has been. I would say my word has absolutely come to light over the course of these 9 months, and thankfully I still have a few more months to go with more time to dig in, learn all about what this word means for me… Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is about taking it all in, gathering all the information, and being thoughtful about the process. The what, the why, the how….asking myself questions and reflecting, taking yoga classes, learning how to meditate and what the benefits are, defining words that are in my life and what they now mean for me, what kind of a mother and partner am I or want to be, what do I want out of my career, out of my creativity, how and why am I creative, why is creativity so important in my life and how am I fulfilling that. So many questions. And lots and lots of journalling. I almost always carry a notebook and a few gel pens with me these days, because color, and doodles. I love to read what I’ve written over and over again and outline or circle or redefine my writing with different colors each time I re-read a page. This has been the most helpful and therapeutic part of my mindfulness wanderings.
Through all this mindfulness business, I’ve been about finding joy in all parts of my journey to really see and be seen. I believe mindfulness is being aware of your conscious behavior, but also your unconsciousness as well. I’ve been learning how each of these work. It’s a bit complicated, the conscious and unconscious mind, but as I dive in more and more, I’m realizing just how important it is to understand and I still have loads to learn.
My word ‘mindfulness’ has also brought about my recent mental health discovery and wellbeing. This new sense of self worth and self knowing, and an excitement I have about my everyday. What really matters, what I hold true, and my exploration to becoming my best self, especially in creative and meaningful ways. And now that it’s begun, the ball is rolling, and it just keeps going and going. There’s no going back, ha! But I don’t want to go back. I’ve become aware and more mindful. Having realized how deeply depressed I had been for the last few years and I’m now awakened to this new awareness. I’m still riding the wave…
This is a tattoo I got last year near my 40th birthday, at the start of my newfound awareness. It’s a wave with a little pearl in the sea (me), riding the wave. It’s my true happy place, literally being in the water and in the wave. That moment when a wave is coming, building, and you dive into it before it hits, swim up and fly out of the wave on the other side. I needed this as a reminder to keep riding the wave, swimming in that sweet spot of the wave, being self aware and fully alive. Mindful of the world around me and all the things in it. Slowing down a little. Letting go. Stop being in such a rush to go, do, make. Just BE. Sit back and regroup. Look around, be part of life, and enjoy the process. Namaste.